As all 12 dedicated readers of this blog know, I recently graduated from my local underfunded exceptional institute of higher education. Now, I've been working for this here outfit for close to two and a half years, but I've never quite been able to work full time except for summer vacations and such. Graduation meant that I was not only a hot-shot with a highly prized four-year degree, but also that I now had some serious time to put in. None of this 32 hours a week nonsense – I was going full time!
Corinne, the boss of this joint, seemed to be afraid that with my new-found social status I was going to get whisked away by the State Department or Goldman Sachs or Shakira, so she sat me down recently for a little talk about my future here at SVBC Galactic Headquarters. I was pretty sure she just didn't want to find herself stuck at my desk, greeting the UPS delivery people, but she said some stuff about merit and performance something something – I'm not really sure what it all consisted of. We were having salad, and I was very distracted trying to spear a pear tomato.
Anyway, when all was said and done, Corinne told me she was going to make me Deputy! I was over the moon with excitement, ready to get my horse and gun and go chase down a posse of cattle rustlers. Alas, she clarified that she was promoting me to Deputy Director of SVBC, not to be the top lawman in a town of misfits and troublemakers somewhere out on the desert plain.
Still, it's a pretty good gig, no?
And so, I'm happy to announce that I'm the new Deputy Director. I promise that my reign will be a benevolent one, with the land growing rich with bicycles. Steel forks and fixed gears will abound, and nary a child shall arrive to school by car. Parking lots will fall into disuse. The streets will teem with two-wheeled traffic as cars are relegated to the debris-strewn shoulders!
I kid (kind of). Seriously, I'd like to thank Corinne for trusting me to not screw everything up. And I want to invite you, the SVBC supporter/member/reader, to make me look good by getting involved! Not a member? Become a member!. Feeling bored? Volunteer with SVBC! Frustrated with your city's policies? Go visit your BPAC! Whatever you do, don't sit around and complain that the world isn't fair to bicyclists. We have the tools, but we need your help. This is a coalition – let's coalesce!